The greatest hope for a parent - long hair!

"then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life and no razor will ever be used on his head."

1 Samuel 1.11

(This follows on from the blog below)

If I were devising a parenting course now, the first question I might ask is:

"Why do you want a child?" 

This is the biggest question - the true answer to it is probably the single most important factor in someone's parenting, but we rarely ask it. Often the true answer (not necessarily the one given) might be a mixture of things:

• "I really want to be a mother/father"
• "It's what everyone else is doing"
• "I want someone to hold/love"
• "I want someone who will hold/love me"
• "I want to make a family"
• "I think it will make me happy"
• "I want to make a contribution to society"

Another question arises and pushes to the front when the child is born - What do I want for the child?

• "That they should be successful?"
• "That they should be healthy?"
• "That they should be happy?"

With all these answers there is a complex interplay of altruism and self centred needs. One of the terrible burdens our children carry is the things we need our children to be and to do for us. 

This was a danger Hannah faced. The waiting for a child, the building sense of desire and longing, could have been awful for Samuel. He could never have lived up to the idol she had made him.

But God saved her from this in her journey of waiting and vowing. She now had answers to those two questions:

Why did she want a child?

So that she could worship the Lord with him, by giving him to the Lord

What did she want for her child?

Long hair! (v.11) For us this is a bizarre aspect of the vow. However for the first readers it was immediately clear. Hannah's promise not to cut Samuel's hair was a sign of someone who is set apart for the Lord's special service. There is a clear link here to a former hairy man - Samson - used by the Lord to save his people.

Hannah's prayer is that her child will be uniquely used by the Lord. She wants his life to be glorious - to bring glory to the Lord and to share the Lord's glory. 

And how her desire is fulfilled! Not so much that he ends up leading God's people (although he does), but that he is the one who starts the fulfilment of her prophecy of an anointed king at the end of the song (v.10). What begins with her little baby, ends up with another baby born miraculously to another scorned woman - Jesus.

The challenge of Hannah's vow to Christian parents is, will we answer in the same way to those two questions. If we want the very best for our children we will want to give them wholly to the Lord and we will want them to be gloriously used by the Lord.

You see such a vision of parenthood in the story of Hudson Taylor. When he decided to go to China to serve the Lord, they in effect lost their son, but in the tears they rejoiced, because he was fulfilling their greatest hope for him son and they knew that there was no better place for him than in the Lord's service.

What if Hannah hadn't done this? 

One of the striking things about the Old Testament is that it can be understood as a catalogue of bad parenting. In fact, the concluding verse of the whole Old Testament (Malachi 4.6) is about how the promised John the Baptist would turn the hearts of the fathers to their children. Reading through the Old Testament, you see why it was needed. 

It is very hard to find successful parent-child combos in the Old Testament. Generally, it is a either a story of neglect or misplaced love (indulgence, favouritism, leniency). Two notable exceptions of times where the parent/child combo is a success are Abraham & Isaac and Hannah/Elkanah & Samuel. In both cases the child was offered as a living sacrifice to the Lord.

Child sacrifice was common in those days (see Jephthah). Children were given over to death in worship of the false gods. The parallel has often been made to abortion today. There is though another parallel. Giving our children to the gods of success (academic, sporting or financial), popularity, beauty, health, materialism. All of which lead to death. 

The choice as a parent is not whether or not we offer our children as sacrifices. As parents, that is inevitable. The choice is, will we offer our children to false gods that lead to death or will we offer them as living sacrifices to the Living God who gives eternal life?

Doing Deals with God?

"And she made a vow, 'LORD Almighty, if you will only look on your servant's misery and remember me, and... give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD'"

1 Samuel 1.11

Last Sunday at St Patrick's, I spoke on 1 Samuel 1-2. It was a painful experience, because I had to leave: so much unsaid, so many treasures unmined and so many challenges glossed over. But that's why I have a blog!

First a warning - this blog post is long!!

One of the aspects of the passage I couldn't focus on for long is Hannah's vow. For a while, I've noticed that the Bible speaks a lot about vows. There are a comparatively large number of texts in the Old Testament relating to regulations surrounding vows and in the New Testament, Paul takes a vow in Acts 18:18 in which he shaves his head (no mention is made of whether he grew a goatee and started drinking Chai Tea Latte at the same time!)

But the issue of vows in the Bible is quite tricky for two reasons: the first is that while the Bible speaks a lot about them, it doesn't seem to explain clearly in any one place what they are. The second is that at first glance it can seem like the person making the vow is doing a deal with God. Hannah appears to be like this. Her prayer appears to be "If God you do this for me, then I will do this for you". Surely this isn't how it works, surely this doesn't sit with a God of grace? So what is going on? (Have a look at my blog on Baruch to think further about the pain we cause ourselves when we think God owes us)

Hannah's vow raises three questions:

1. Is Hannah doing a deal with God?
2. If not, what is she doing in the vow?
3. What can we learn from the vow?

Is Hannah doing a deal with God?

Imagine you had a Mars Bar and I didn't. The thing is, I love Mars Bars. Knowing that you are generous I ask you for the Mars Bar. You don't give it to me. So, I start pleading. Every day I send you texts, voicemail, carrier pigeons etc. Begging. No response. In the end I plead: 

"Please give me the Mars Bar. If you give me the Mars Bar, I will give you the Mars Bar"

You see the point? It's a nonsense deal. You would have to conclude that it wasn't the Mars Bar I really wanted. So what could it be? Maybe what I am really looking for is a sign of your love and favour towards me. Maybe what I am looking for is the opportunity to bless someone with the gift of the Mars Bar. What I'm not really doing is a deal with you for a Mars Bar.

In a similar way, when you look at Hannah's prayer it becomes a nonsense deal. She in effect says, "Give me a son and I will give you my son". What sort of deal is that? Hannah must be doing something else.

Now we might say that what Hannah really wants is the first three years of a son's life. She's heard, wrongly, that teenagers are a nightmare and she thinks she will have the best years. Or she may only want the removal of the shame of being childless. Somehow though, the price of her child for that seems steep. But there are other reasons in the text to think that this isn't what Hannah is doing.

Hannah has joy at the handing over of her child. No doubt there were tears as Samuel was introduced to Eli for the first time and then left, but there is also joy. She sings. "My heart rejoices". This doesn't sound like the conclusion of a hard negotiated deal, where she's only just finished out on top.

The second striking thing is that in Hannah's prayer of praise, she doesn't focus on Samuel or herself very much - she is really focused on the Lord. This suggests that Hannah is a woman who really does delight to put God first

So what is Hannah doing in the vow?

Clearly in the Bible there are some examples of people treating vows as doing a deal with God - a sort of divine bribery that was typical of the false religions around Israel. One example might be Jephthah - who ends up killing his daughter. Another example might be Jacob's vow (Genesis 28). But just because a character in the Bible makes vows in a partiuclar way, does not indicate that that is a good example to follow. Indeed is it any surprise that the Del Boy of the Bible (Jacob) should try and do a 'deal' with God. 

Instead, when you look at vows in the Bible they seem to be closely linked to worship. Often part of the vow is about bringing something, an offering, to the Lord at the sanctuary. 

Looking at Hannah's example, I think that the following is the most likely motivations for Hannah's vow: 

The vow is an expression of longing

When you think about it, many of the questions we have about vows are similar to our questions about fasting and prayer. Why do we fast? Is it a deal? Do we fast because we think that God is more likely to give us what we want if we fast? Of course not. Fasting is a way of expressing the depth of our longing and our reliance on God. Fasting is itself worship, because it humbles ourselves by recognising our weakness, as it exalts God as our Abundantly Gracious Loving Father.

So the offering in a vow is an expression of our longing and dependance on God - it is worship.

The vow is an expression of trustworthiness

Imagine the scene. The 17 year old goes to his dad and asks to borrow the car. The dad is understandably nervous and so pauses. The son keeps on asking. Finally, the son says, "Dad, if you give me the car I will be so careful. I promise that I will stick to the speed limit, I will fill the car up with petrol and I will get Granny's shopping."

This could be seen in two ways. You could say that the son is doing a cynical deal with the Dad. Or it could be that the son is assuring the Dad that he can be trusted with the blessing of the car. At that moment, noone knows (possibly not even the son), the only one who could know would be someone who can look on the heart. Of course if the Dad gives him the key, what he then does with the car will give more clues.

I think that Hannah's prayer is along these lines: If you give me a son, I will be trustworthy with him - I won't misuse the gift.

Going back to the illustration above. There is a chance that the son's waiting for the Dad to agree, changed something in him. If the Dad had immediately given him the keys, he might have unthinkingly picked up his friends, done some handbrake turns, broken all the speed limits, left his Granny at the bus stop and returned home on petrol fumes.

The process of waiting and making the vow, developed his understanding of what the gift was for. His desire for the car grew and matured.

By the time of the vow, Hannah had reached a place where she truly understood why God gave the gift of children to parents and how her child would find true fulfilment.

In other words, God used the waiting and the vow to refine Hannah's desires, until she finally wanted a child for the reason which would lead to blessing: Blessing for God, blessing for her and blessing for Samuel.

What can we learn from the vow?

I'll talk about this in the next blog...